Forget the BHAG- Look for Glory in the Every Day

I wrote a blog post a while back, encouraging people to come up with a BHAG- a big hairy audacious goal. I was musing today about how this may be truly dumb advice indeed- at least in the way it was likely interpreted. Why?

1. To feel the pressure to come up with a BHAG may be misplaced energy. If you already have some world changing ambition, by all means, go for it! But I look at someone like my paternal grandfather, who was one of the most amazing people I have ever known. He was the definition of a man with a servants heart. He was humble, kind, an awesome father and grandfather — and never had an unkind word to say about anyone. He donated his time at church, and was adored by everyone who knew him. He worked as a milk man when he was young- delivering bottles of milk door to door as they did back in the day. My grandmother was a young widow with a small child who was the beneficiary of his milk- and eventually of his love and devotion. He then sold Fuller Brushes door to door, and as an older man he worked on an assembly line. Never was he wealthy — and never was he in debt. I guarantee he changed the lives of the people he came in contact with in a more meaningful way than someone who has paparazzi following them. Why not make having that sort of impact a goal?
2. Speaking of paparazzi, did you ever notice how many really miserable very “successful” people there are? I once was friends with a private banker who covered billionaires in Greece for a living. He once said to me “ the distribution of happiness among billionaires seems to me to be the same as the the distribution of happiness among bus drivers”. I understand his point. While not a scientific analysis, this man spent his days with people you would think would be the happiest people on earth — they could have anything that money could buy. Some of them were happy- the ones who really cared about their families, or the ones who really focused on making a contribution. But there were as many who were lonely and miserable- with broken families and emptiness in their hearts. Charles Dicken’s Christmas Carol is a great reminder that we can choose to be Scrooge or we can choose to live a life of meaning. Money is not in itself bad- it is the idea that we will be happy once we are rich and famous that is the problem.
3. And about fame — can you imagine not being able to go to dinner with your family without having people interrupt you? What about needing to run out to the store and having people take unflattering photos and constantly judging you. Who needs that? Fame seems to be a trap- and by the looks of it one that often leads to depression, drugs and more. Not every celebrity falls into these pitfalls, but it seems the ones who best avoid it are the ones who guard their privacy and their family lives with earnest.

If we think about what really matters- strong relationships, a focus on a moral compass, giving more than you get- and yes, being able to take care of yourself and your loved ones- that seems to be making the world a better place in a meaningful way. If that is not a BHAG, I am not sure what is!