Happy New Year- What if it ends tomorrow?
It is great to be back- having taken a few weeks away from the computer has been an incredible recharge. Having been fanatical about posting a weekly blog for a couple of years, it felt weird to be okay with not doing it. But to unplug was worth it. New years always have that feeling of hope and optimism and a fresh start, which I love. But more than ever I am starting this year really thinking about the end of the world. I mean, really dwelling on the “what if this day is your last” thought process.
My youngest son really enjoys the Doomsday Prepper shows, and I watch them with him from time to time. The energy that these people put into how they will fare in a cataclysmic disaster fascinates me- more because it looks to me like an incredible opportunity cost to give up living fully today for the hope of getting through the calamity- whatever it may be. I ask myself “don’t they realize that we are all going to die?”- and I wonder if they would be disappointed if they got hit by a bus, or had a heart attack, or die in some totally mundane way, rather than in the nuclear holocaust or zombie invasion that they have been counting on.
To me it is far more fruitful to expend that energy in really being sure that how I am spending my time- every day- in things that really matter. I have found that a really great barometer for me to determine if something is worth my time is to ask myself “if I die this week, will I feel good about this being how I allocated me time?” If the answer is that I would be angry knowing I wasted the precious hours on something, it goes into the “no” bucket. It is easy to fall into thinking about this in terms of productivity and work, money and achievement. But really, most of that isn’t all that important either.
I made a new friend this week. His name is Troy. Troy sits out on the sidewalk a few blocks from my apartment- and most days he is there with a few buddies. They look to be maybe in their 50’s, but it is hard to tell. I have walked by Troy and his friends for a few years, and from time to time have said “hi”- but for some reason this week, when I walked by, Troy jumped up and started to walk with me. He was quick to tell me that he doesn’t live on the streets and neither do his friends. They are all disabled vets, and they spend their time enjoying each other’s company on the sidewalk since none of them work any more.
Troy talked to me about how he was shot in the back in Iraq, and how he needs surgery on his shoulder but he has been putting it off. He is not confident in the doctors — I told him I can relate to that. He said he traveled to Chicago for the holidays and that his sister was retiring as a Master Sargent in the Army. His niece is a recently commissioned 2nd Lt. He was really proud of her. We chatted about a few other things, and I invited him to my church a few blocks away. He knew the one- the one with the fish pond. I told him there was recently a fence installed around the pond to prevent school children from falling in, and he said he thinks the fence was put there because people have stolen some of the bigger fish to eat them- which both made me laugh and made me think he is probably right.
I only spent about 10 minutes with Troy- just walking a few blocks-but it got me thinking about all of the people that we walk by — and largely ignore- most of the days of our lives. Slowing it down a bit and really seeing the people that cross our paths- that is the real richness of life. Whether this life ends tomorrow or 100 years from now-and whether it is by getting hit by a bus or something more thrilling like a zombie invasion, I feel quite certain that it is the people we encounter and the relationships we build that will be the things we will look back on and be glad we took the time.
