How Do You Know You are In The Right Place?

How do you know if you are in the right place in your life? I think a lot of us spend extra energy thinking about whether we are in the right job, or whether we are spending our time on the things that really, truly matter. I was thinking about this all today and I came up with the following reflections:

1. You can ask yourself the question “if this was my last day on earth, would I be glad I spent it this way?”. I find this to be a bit of a red-herring, because for most of us, we have to go to work every day, and do mundane things like laundry or doing the dishes. Definitely if this were my last day on earth, the dishes would be fine to pile up in the sink- so that may not be the most practical metric. However, I did find this to be a useful lens when I was making a career switch — I asked myself if I would be happy if this were my last day knowing that I spent it in this career vs giving something else a shot- and I knew I needed to change.
2. To me, almost more useful is the question “If I live another 50 years, will I look back and be happy that this is where I spent my time today”. We have no idea whether the rest of our life is marked in seconds, minutes or decades- but thinking about how I am spending my time as a potential investment in my future creates a different perspective. I bet that in 50 years the amount of money sitting in a bank account will look like so much Monopoly money. I bet that the depth of the relationships with my loved ones will matter a ton. I also bet that I will want to be able to look back and feel like I did my best and maybe that I made something better.
3. I am a fan of the book “The Art of Happiness at Work” written by the Dalai Lama. Some people may say “what does that Dalai Lama know about the work that I am doing?”- but that is the beauty of timeless wisdom…it is universal. Some of the main points I got out of what he was saying is that we all need to decide how we will think about what we do. It is this thinking about our job- much more so than the actual job- that can bring us happiness.

Imagine that there is a very successful business person, but all they can focus on is jealousy towards friends who have made a lot more money or who have more prestige. He is likely to be miserable. However, imagine being an assembly line worker who isn’t paid particularly well and the work itself is repetitive — but that person goes to work every day grateful that they can put food on the table and determined to brighten up the days of the people he comes in contact with. That person will be happy.

When I was working at a large investment bank, there was a security guard who greeted everyone who came into the building with such warmth and love. One day a client came into the building to meet the CEO, and he was greeted in this extraordinary way. He told the CEO that he had been on the fence about doing business with the company, but after the welcoming he received he felt that the company must be a pretty special place- and the deal was done. The CEO put a picture of that security guard on the cover of the next annual report. He was asked to speak at a company meeting, and he talked about his life. He said he had experienced some significant trials in his life and had been a bitter and angry person at one time. But eventually he concluded that lifting up other people was what his purpose was- so no matter what the job, that was how he approached every day. He was happy, and he made everyone he connected with happy too.

I have concluded that the actual job- whatever profession or work any of us does every day- really isn’t going to determine if we are happy or not. It is how we approach the work that makes the difference. How we impact the people around us and the relationships that we build- those are the things that will make us glad that we spent our days the way we did, whether this is our last day on earth or whether we have decades left!