The Shoes for the Moment
If you watch nothing else today, watch this speech by Deshauna Barber, the amazing woman who is an Army Captain AND won the Miss USA title. She is an inspiring woman and her story has so many lessons, about perseverance, about the ability to wear different hats, on seeing your potential at times through the eyes of others- and more. The part of the story, however, that really stuck with me was the part about her mother buying her sneakers for the track team.
Ms. Barber was raised without much in the way of material means, and so when her mother went to purchase sneakers for track try outs, she bought them way too big — as we mothers do when we are anticipating growth and are concerned about money. The upshot was that when it came time to run on the track, Deshauna fell. Her shoes were too big and she wan’t ready to run in them. She needed to grow. She uses this as an analogy to think about how she was grateful that she didn’t win the pageant title that she was pursuing until 6 long and arduous tries. She said that it would have been bad for her to win too early — because she wouldn’t have been able to handle the notoriety that came with the winning. She hadn’t yet grown into the shoes.
How often do we aspire to the next job, or to attain something in life, but we need to let our proverbial feet grow until we are really ready to take it on? Ambition is wonderful, and it needs to also be met with patience and endurance, and a focus on learning and growing. Getting what we want too early can be worse than never getting it at all. In the workplace there are many people eager for leadership positions, but they don’t always realize that “leader” isn’t a title, it is how you act and how you are received by others. We can all lead, exactly where we are- in our homes, in our communities and in our work places. Once we develop as a leader, we may then be granted a title at work that recognizes the leadership we bring- but that is not necessary or required.
This reminded me of another story- years ago we had a round of layoffs at the bank where I worked. One of my direct reports came to speak with me and he was troubled because he had to lay off a young woman who was a star performer. He had the enviable position of leading a team of stars, but someone had to go. This woman had done nothing wrong- and as such was shocked that she was being downsized. He felt for her so much, and he was recalling when he, years before at a similar stage in his career, had also been laid off. He said that he left the office feeling betrayed and filled with shame. He called his mother, and in tears told her what had happened. She said to him, “you just weren’t the man for the moment.” It is hard for us to accept that there are times, through no fault of our own, that we won’t attain what we have strived for. We aren’t the man — or woman- for the moment. But life is filled with the next moment and the next. Picking ourselves up and trying again, and again and again, is what this race of life is all about. Just ask Deshauna Barber.
